It doesn’t matter what’s been written in your story so far, it’s how you fill the rest of the pages that counts!
Today I celebrate 11 years of sobriety!! I Thank GOD for this amazing gift. Because in essence it’s ALL been a gift. Every morsel of it. Those moments that we plummet to the trenches, as well as those when we ascend to the highest reaches of the heavens.
I am sitting on a couch in an apartment in Lucca, Italy writing this blog post, my heart and soul are living out a long imagined dream and monumentally aware of the multitude of blessings that have been bestowed upon my life. THAT, knowing Gratitude, is my gift back to God and the Universe, it is for all of us.
We don’t get life to have it laid out before us with only ease and comforts. We are gifted a life made up of all of what life living is meant to be. All sorts of experiences, in order to feel and express each and every emotion there is to know. That’s one of the beauties I’ve learned about life. Feeling everything IS living life and that’s what I choose. Being an addict, allowing myself to feel my emotions, all of them, has been a practice, it’s been taught, it did not come naturally to me. Speaking my truth didn’t either. This part of my journey, with some sobriety in me, a program always in the works, over the hump of 50, having had a full plate of experiences, of all colors and sizes, and being able to speak freely of them all is a welcome breath for me these days. When we choose the road less traveled and decide to embark on a path to do things differently than we know, we get to have so many different experiences.
I think back to the many tears I cried over things not turning out the way I thought they should, hemming and hawing with all my might to force things into place. I laugh at them all because I don’t see things the same way. When I come up against those old feelings, I surrender, then I wait. Trust and patience flow in like a mist for a while then suddenly, the break. Light is diffused into my thinking, into my heart and off we go, passing through.
This year being able to celebrate this gift of time in a place that has revealed itself to me in the most magical of ways brings me to tears…tears of joy. When I arrived, I wandered around Lucca crying at each new sight my eyes grasped ahold of. My soul was moved in so many ways, for so many reasons. This place is full of light with its cobblestone streets, horse and buggies, the people…who love where they come from and their beautiful way of life here, the history, medieval and ancient energy…all of it is fraught with time and stories and I’m here within its walls so sublimely blissful to be a part of it, close to it. This is what they talked about when I walked into the rooms of recovery broken and exhausted. They spoke of a life beyond my wildest dreams and by and large is it ever so true.
My days are not always this glowing, but again, that’s what I signed on for. To live a life, not to just exist or live a life that was imposed upon me by someone else, to live every day in full acceptance of who I am, where I’ve been, to get messy and to take ownership when I screw up.
I’m so truly grateful. I honor my sobriety and I respect all those that walk the walk with me each and every day because we are not like everyone else. We are different and it takes courage and strength and whole lotta praying to keep it going, One Day At A Time.
Blessings of love & light to all those inside and outside of the rooms. For those in search of living life differently, we are here to help…reach out and we will be there for you, when you are ready!